Leaving Behind 2013

Before we can move forward, we must release that which no longer serves us. I want to start off 2014 with a fresh new page. I’d like to leave behind the gunk that is clouding up my juju. 2013 brought a lot of things. Amid the good was the not so good. I do NOT wish to carry those negative components into the New Year. In honor of leaving behind 2013, here’s a list of what I’m letting go of…

Domestic Shouldas, Wouldas & Couldas.
And, all of the guilt that’s come along with it. Oh, the mountain of laundry piled sky-high. The stack of mail in my drawer, which I still haven’t cleared out. The clothes that need to be donated. The clutter around the house. The still undecorated home that we moved into almost a year and a half ago. The garden I haven’t started. The art not yet hanging on the walls. The DIY projects I’d hoped to accomplish, but didn’t do even ONE.

Failed Yoga Practice.
It saddens me how I let this go at a time when I probably needed it the most. I made every excuse possible to not make it to my mat. I blamed the studio for negative personalities. I blamed my inability to wake up at the crack of dawn. I blamed the evening studio schedule. I blamed my schedule. I blamed my instructors. I blamed my job. I blamed my thyroid. Excuse after excuse after excuse after excuse after excuse.

BUT, the truth is that, all along, I could have found time in my day for a few sun salutations. A 20 minute meditation. Some weekend classes. And, thanks to YogaGlow, a yoga sesh whenever, wherever.

Although I knew that, I still rejected it. I wanted “perfect.” I wanted my 5:30 AM, five days per week commitment. And, when I couldn’t achieve that, I gave up on myself. And that’s sad. I deserve better than that. I deserve my practice. And my practice deserves me.

Approval Seeking.
It would have been in my best interest to have let this go a long time ago. And, probably, I tried. But, here it existed again, in 2013.

It’s a real bitch, this one. This need for others’ approval. And, I’m sick of letting it get the best of me. I know that it holds me back from reaching my full potential. That it’s the massive barrier between where I am now, and where I want to go.

Each time I give off this needy energy (transmitted through a desire for another’s approval), I give my self-emPOWERment away. I wish to break free from this desire to feed my ego. And, instead, honor and value my own opinion when it comes to me and my progress. It’s time to stop feeding the monster.

Comparison Games.
There’s a saying, “The only person you should compare yourself to is the one you were yesterday.” I’ve always loved it. I think it’s so true. But, so often I forget that philosophy. Especially during those times when it should be front and center.

The week leading up to my 30th birthday, and a week after, I started this charade of dwelling on the fact that I didn’t own property, like most of my friends. I wasn’t married, or even engaged. The career I’d envisioned and spent 80% of my time working toward had completely changed. I wasn’t in grad school. I didn’t hold a management position. And, blah. Blah. Blah.

But, after I snapped myself out of it, I remembered that I didn’t want any of those things. Aside from a deeper level of commitment in my relationship, none of those things are for me. I don’t want to be tied down to a mortgage payment right now. Or work 50 hours per week for someone else. Or add more student loan debt (I’m finally starting to chip away at it). And, I must remember that I had opportunities to advance in my old career track, and said “No.” And, why? Because my dreams had changed. I’m not the same person I was when I was 24, or even 27. Hooray that I remembered that! Hooray for who I am now!

I wish I could say that this is the only example of comparison games this year. But, that’s not accurate. Not at all. I compared myself to other photographers, entrepreneurs, vegetarians, yogis, pet owners, bloggers, etc. etc. etc. etc. And, 90% of the time, I saw myself as not good enough. That’s pretty sad. Especially, during a year when I grew SO much in my craft. Had so many successful, amazing shoots. Made my business official. And, had to make so many BIG and small decisions for my life and my business, and haven’t regretted a single one.

Icky Feelings.
I won’t get into details here, but all of those yucky, awful emotions from 2013, I am definitely leaving behind. The anxiety, the pain, the panic attacks, the arguments, the guilt, the shame, the anger, the loss. You know, all of those nasty things that we ALL experience in one way or another… I am saying “Adios, mofo!” to ALL of it.

This list is not all-encompassing. But, I think it provides a pretty good snapshot of what I’m leaving behind in 2013. As part of Stratejoy’s Holiday Council, I will be burning the paper-version of this list this weekend. I figured blogging about some of it would help fuel the process. (You can read more about Week #1 here.)

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate everyone who has followed my journey over the last year. I <3 you all!


Gina Mizzoni Photography is a Las Vegas lifestyle photographer (and storyteller) offering a variety of custom services including maternity, engagement, portraits, boudoir and family (human and fur-baby) portraits. Gina is also a landscape photographer and documentarian with a true passion for the great outdoors and the state of Nevada. Her medium consists of two: pictures AND words.

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